Come back home to each other.

Daughters want to feel heard, understood and accepted by their mothers. I’m going to help you get this right.

If your daughter has ever said to you “You just don’t understand!”, she is not feeling heard by you. As mothers we so much want to share the wisdom we’ve collected over a lifetime to protect our daughters from the pain we see headed their way.

But daughters want to feel like their mother trusts them because this in turn helps them trust themselves. When mothers are giving unsolicited advice, solving problems and not accepting parts of their daughter’s lives, distance grows.

Here you will be guided to your most loving bond by learning what has gotten in the way of your mother-daughter story. We will examine the history of mothers and daughters in your family, pain that you carry and the communication patterns that aren’t working for you.

Elizabeth shares about her experience in mother-daughter coaching with her mother:

“Our first session went a lot better than any other conversation I’ve had about sensitive things with my Mom. I expected her to take things personally like she has in the past. But it was nice because my Mom was very receptive. It felt like we were working together, rather than feeling blamed or yelling, we have the same goals.”

Here you will:

  • Gain a clear understanding of the underlying issues built up over generations and know the path to repair it to keep yourselves and future daughters from falling back into the old patterns.

  • Begin feeling more like a team as you move forward on this new path of showing love and empathy to each other when you need it most.

  • With my no-shame, no-blame approach, you will feel heard in every session. You have your own perspectives, feelings and pain - all of it is valid and true and my job is to help you hear each other this way as well. It’s not about who is “right” because you’re entitled to feel the way you feel.

  • The new communication tools you learn will be the foundation of your new relationship - you will use and reuse these for the rest of your lives - not only to navigate conflict but to avoid it as well.

Margot, mother working to repair with her estranged adult daughter

“ I plan on working with Hilary for a very long time in some capacity in order for me to stay in loving connection with you for the rest of my life. I have worked with Hilary since January.  She moderates a mother’s group that I have participated in and I have also worked with her privately.  I wish I would have crossed paths with her much earlier in my life, and I am very grateful to be able to continue working with her. She has taught me about the nuances of repair after conflict and how perspective taking through active listening is vital in the repair process.  She has taught me that the flow of care always goes from a parent to a child as long as the parent has the capacity to maintain that (ie, until final stages of life).  She has taught me about how a loving and supportive partnership with a spouse strengthens the healthy flow of care to children—no matter their ages. She has taught me that my own personal therapy, internal work, and community of close friends all support me as I grow a better understanding of my past, my emotions and reactions/responses, and that maintaining that work and support will continue to strengthen a healthy foundation of loving connection with my children. Again, I wish I would have found Hilary years ago, but I am so grateful to move forward with her guidance for helping our family heal and be whole.”

LET’S WORK TOGETHER

Private Coaching

This is for mothers and daughters of all ages. Come alone or as a couple and experience immediate shifts in your relationship. Through private and personalized guidance, I will help you heal what’s hurting and open your eyes to mother-daughter relationship dynamics that have pulled you apart. Once you find yourself within these patterns, you will return to each other with knowledge of what to change to have a mutually supportive relationship moving forward. Truly this life changing work should be required learning for every therapist and woman.

You have my undivided attention for three months through private sessions individually and as a couple, to understand and heal your relationship. Together we’ll peel back the layers to uncover the hurts and pave a new path forward.

Laura shares about her experience in mother-daughter sessions with her 18 year old daughter. 

“You see Hilary’s posts and you think ‘oh that would be nice with my daughter’ but it really is so much more. It has that ripple effect and improves so many things. I don’t think you can put a price tag on that. If you’re seeing it and feeling it, don’t wait, just do it. Because things will get better rather than not doing it and things get worse. It’s never too late. You won’t even know if you do this now all the things you probably won’t end up going through because it’s preventative measures. A good relationship with your child is for life.”

Natalie shares the transformation she and her mother had after working together to learn how to truly listen to each other:

"After speaking to you once, I didn’t know that our relationship would turn out to be as great as it has. My mom and I were hesitant at first because 3 months feels like a short amount of time. But deciding to invest on our relationship was the best thing we have done. It wasn’t a now or never situation but with each passing day, I knew it would be in our best interest to figure out a solution sooner or later. I did not want to spend another day fighting/arguing with my mom. Honestly I can’t thank you enough. You’ve helped us overcome what felt like impossible for us."